I live with a Veggie Marian.
According to my research, I have found that there are several subtypes of vegetarians:
Broccolarians: those who prefer veggies to meat, recognized by the slightly greenish cast to their skin
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Toocoolforbeefians: those who follow societal waves, recognized by the slightly-worn grey, high-tops (hey, they must be grey, and though they can be low top this is getting into sub-sub genres here)
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Barackatarians: those who take a stand against meat for political reasons. Recognized by the Willy-burg beard or pierced lower lip (pierced upper lips apparently implying a different sort of stand, for instance, against the global warming agenda. )
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Fermentiarians: those who avoid flesh for health reasons. Recognized by anemic hunch and natural-dye t-shirt reading “Vegans Rock”
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Petatarians: the vigilantes. Recognized by the picket and bag of blood they are waving in your face.
and the group I am most fond of:
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Veggie Marians: those who feel it’s wrong to kill animals to feed our gluttony but are too cool to say anything about it, though they will sometimes eat fish because they haven’t entirely “made the switch.” Recognized by the martyred glare as you stuff your face with a spare rib.
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My partner, I confess, falls into the last group. which is why I feel really bad about announcing this survey.
THE SUMMER ’10 SEARCH FOR THE BEST NYC HAMBURGER.
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Sure, we’ve read the reports; 5 Napkin Burgers are amazing, Jackson Hole lost quality, Shack Shack has long lines, PJ Clarkes’ are yummy but small…
But truthfully, Jackson Hole makes toppings like no other.
5 Napkin Burgers are delicious, but not extraordinary.
And unbeknownst to most surveyers, Williamsburg’s DBA’s summer outdoor visiting chef’s cajun burgers for $6 may be the best thing on the planet.
Plus three thousand other cafes, holes-in-the-walls, shacks, four star restaurants and gourmet trucks that have escaped reviewers’ gullets serve a damn good burger.
I don’t profess to be able to create the definitive survey, but at least it will be one I can trust because it will be according to me.
My testers will be my friends, out of town guests, and once again, me. Any convincing posts will be duly admitted to the survey or tried out first hand.
My Veggie Marian will have to stay out of it, although he will be welcome to weigh in on tuna and veggie burgers.
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The standards: Whatever makes us feel good, and keeps us coming back for more.
The hunt is on. Posts will be coming to you live.
burgers… really? It’s summer time, how about lobster rolls?
Yes!!! Next survey. weigh in now…
(1) Spare ribs? Are you talking about “Dallas Ribs” in NYC? Would you actually eat there? They keep cows in their basement. Maybe your partner has a point in eating only mercury-filled tuna and other forms of guilt-free sea life. Oh, I hope he doesn’t mind a little fuel oil with his shrimp.
(2) Also, 5 Napkin Burgers are not bad, but i don’t think they are worth the outrageous price. Sure, they’re sloppy, and filled with muscle-builting high protein, but McDonald’s Angus Burgers at half the price are worthy of note. Stop poo-pooing them if you haven’t tried them! You don’t have to eat them at McDonald’s, you can take them to a park bench or eat them on someone’s stoop. If you are rolling your eyes now, i think you are an incredible elitist.
(3) Lobster rolls? I’ve always wished i could have one without being ripped off for an outrageous amount of money; especially when it’s primarily a mayo-mix, with celery and a huge roll…so we decided to cash in on my one of my favorite birthday presents: a gift certificate from a Friendly’s Ice Cream store! OK, as i joyfully stuck my pearly- white caps in to one, i realized that life truly is good. As i got further in to the lobster roll (from Friendly’s,) i realized that it was a celery-mayo mess, with only a couple of SERIOUS pieces of lobster lurking within…however, i didn’t care! It was lobster, and it was free! I love birthday presents.
(4) I whole-heartedly agree that Williamsburgh’s DBA is the best burger around, however, the prima-donna chef has the audacity to show up and cook these little marvels only on Sunday nights. What a nerve.
(5) Have you ever really tried eating a soy-burger, veggie-burger, etc. call it what you will, ALONE, without accoutrements? Feh.. There is an old Chinese saying: “Soy is soy, is soy.” It’s basically disgusting, and not a complete protein. In addition, there are 5 kinds of soybeans. Four of these types of soy cause MALE IMPOTENCE. Now, really, folks, is that something we want to encourage? – Thanks so much, Lane, for your wonderful blog. It gives me a chance to vent, since i don’t have tine to write my own, and i’m in the middle of doing my http://www.BlogTalkRadio.com/joyce-keller show right now. Oh, yes, be sure to visit my website: http://www.joycekeller.com . Happy, healthy summer! – Joyce
(3)
Saw Salmon Sliders in the Wegman’s circular that look amazing. I might have to try that recipe. OK. Its not NYC. Its not in your survey. Sorry. But, if I get to NYC this summer with my veggie -carbotarian- daughter, she will rate the veggie burgers. For me…this burger must be so amazing that I do not even miss the bun!
Joyce:
Glad you posted your site that I rushed to view after reading your poignant, pointed comments. I just met Lane and the messages you two are imparting are divine and delectable. Looking forward to your future comments and perhaps meeting….
HATTIE- Holistic Life Coach, Author, “Sex and the Single Senior: A Cougar’s Search for Love” “RetroAge: 4 Steps to a Younger YOU!” and “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Looking & Feeling Younger” Working on my next book “Aging Sucks…….Unless”
Well its been years since I had a Jackson Hole Burger. I do remember the sick smell of beef in that place and the amount of beef on the burger that was put in front of me put me over the edge. You are bringing back a bad flash back.!!! I was sick for days after that. But its been years and well…….a burger now and then is not so bad…..O’mallys on the way out to the east end has great ones!!!! Enjoy!!!! Lorr
i think i am a on my way to becoming a Broccolarian, but that Jackson Hole thing has me intrigued. I may not get out much, but do you have to go to Jackson Hole to get one? or visit NYC once in awhile? Fill me in.
I try regularly to be a Veggie Marian but I keep straying back to the ranch. Oh, that’s just awful to say in jest….
Not being a NYer I’ll have to vote for whichever serves organic/no hormones/no antibotics on a whole grain roll, and will do it medium rare.
With cheddar.
I’m with Joyce on the soy burger. Don’t need enlarged male breasts from an over dose of soy.
A free range buffalo burger is my preference.
Hear Ye Hear Ye! The search is on- I’m starting with the new b-burg Goods Truck off the Lorimer Stop. It’s a shiny silver bullet of a dining car transformed into a garden eatery with the “goods”: hamburgers, hotdogs, even chicken and biscuits. May the best burger win!
As to eating fish (as if they aren’t really animals). Benjamin Franklin, a vegetarian, upon viewing the intestines of a freshly-caught fish, proclaimed, (in loose translation from Olde English) “Their bellies are filled with smaller fish. So if they kill their own kind, I feel justified in eating them.” To date, humans haven’t come to the same conclusion!
Using Ben’s logic as my excuse/rationale, I don’t eat animals who are vegetarians, but guiltlessly partake of fish! Though this logic doesn’t render me superior to carnivors, it keeps me smiling/satiated in Japanese restaurants.