Burger Interruptus

It’s summertime, and my ever-accomodating out-of-town guests have been helping me out on my quest to uncover the perfect burger. No, this is not a humanitarian issue, a political one, nor even a personal one.

It’s more of an anti-issue issue, a little sideways punch against establishment thinking, an attempt to expose the truth:

that there is NO ONE PLACE TO GET THE PERFECT ANYTHING.  Well, sort of.

Those uppity, pie-in-the-sky top ten lists that purport to name the best of things — whether it be pizza, beaches, brunch spots, places to live (wait, did someone say pizza?)– in my opinion, instead create the following:

IWANTTHISNOWUS

That must-have feeling, as in, If I don’t get this ChocolateLychee Moji-tini NOW, my life will stop completely.

HESAIDITSOITMUSTBERIGHT

Too much trust in someone else’s thinking. As in,  Remember that Seinfeld episode? This is apparently the ONLY place to get soup in America…

HEYYOUCUTINFRONTOFMEIDIOT

Long lines by people attempting to get said object.

WHATDOYOU MEAN YOU HAVENT BEEN TO_______
a keeping up with the Jones’ effect, as if such-an-such is the only place in the world to get said object.  But this is WRONG. You’re in  NYC . There is no one place for anything, uness you’re talking about canolis. But that’s another story.

So back to burgers, and  trusting in other people’s  viewpoints.  Unfortunately, it seems my notes have somehow been, uhh….misplaced.

Various images come to mind, such as black-coated spies sent from Shake Shack or Jackson Hole, desperate to maintain their place at the top of the heap or to move up from the bottom…

But I also remember:

Devouring succulent yummies at Shake Shack, just before closing after successfully eluding the lines.

Sharing a deliciously gargantuan burgersaurus at McAleer’s Pub on Brodway.

Being underwhelmed at Union Square Coffee Shop, though our seat under the big yellow unbrella afforded the perfect viewpoint for watching mid-day tourist  hoard-a-ristas.

Carne al-fresco at Robert Moses beach. Sea air, perfect fries…

Now I’m getting hungry.   The hunt resumes. Back soon.